Everyone I’ve wanted to punch on the L train

The Personal Hygiene Striker

Please tell your neck pimple to stop staring at me. You got off at the Jefferson stop, and left a horrifically smelly waft of hot Chinatown garbage.

The Iron Jaw

Skinny girl, late 20s. Abnormally long upper lip hair. Probably works in HR, or a bank. Chewed almonds like she was auditioning as a sound effects actor: loud, audible CRUNCH sounds for 30 MINUTES. FULL MOUTH OPEN.

The Traveling DJ

Bro, headphones, I beg of you.

The Cute Bearded Guy That Didn’t Talk To Me

#ok

The Entertainer

After 15 minutes of Motown singing, he plopped down next to me, and said “smile honey, you’ve got all your teeth still and it don’t cost you nothin.” It wouldn’t have been so bad if he wasn’t 4 inches from my face.

The Manspreader

CLOSE YOUR KNEES DUDE, I’m squashed up next to the door and you’re sprawling out. *exasperated sigh*

~personal train survival strategy: stick nose in book, do not make eye contact with passengers~